Soccer Dad

Squirreling it away.

Warning: This is a little gross. Proceed at your own risk.

Him: After work I've got to go rake all the leaves in my backyard. I also have about a bazillion acorns!

Me: Sounds like a squirrels paradise to me. Is your yard overrun with them?

Him: Nah, I keep a BB gun by my back door and they scurry away when they know I am home.

Me: Does the BB actually kill them or does it startle them because of their thick coat of fur?

Him: Sometimes, I hit 'em just right and they run a few steps and then keel over dead.

Me:So, what do you do with all these dead squirrels laying around your yard? Do you pick them up and throw them in the trash can?

Him: I burry 'em sometimes or else I put them in a plastic bag and then put them in the freezer?

Me: In your freezer??!

Him: Yeah, that way they harden up and then I put them out in the trash on trash day so they don't stink everything up.

Me: Sounds like you are the Jeffrey Dahmer of squirrels.

Him: Well, I don't know if I would go THAT far!

Me: What does your wife say about sharing here freezer with dead and frozen squirrels?

Him: Well, actually I am not married.

Does that make you nervous little fella?

squirrels