Soccer Dad: My mahmoud wrote me a letter

May 9, 2006

My mahmoud wrote me a letter

One of the neat things about blogging is how informed many bloggers are. A number of bloggers, for example, discovered the content of the letter that Mahmoud Ahmadinejad (I'll never learn to write or pronounce his name, I cut and paste it all the time) wrote to President Bush.

For one, ScrappleFace has found out the contents of the letter and it includes his top 5 solutions for the problems in the Middle East

5) Wipe Israel off the face of the map. Replace with goat ranch.
4) U.S. buys Iranian oil. I make threatening statements causing uncertainty in petroleum markets. We use the windfall profits to pay Russia to help us make nuclear devices, and to pay China to stop U.N. sanctions. U.S. continues to buy Iranian oil.
3) Get U.N. to adopt �Don�t ask, don�t tell� policy regarding uranium enrichment.
2) Put Zionists in boxcars. Send back to Europe. Replace Israel with goat ranch.
1) U.S. joins global Muslim Caliphate, ensuring peace and bountiful supplies of enriched uranium for all of Allah�s people.

But ScrappleFace is not alone the intrepid Israelly Cool! found the contents of the letter that the American administration is supposedly "cool" to and tells us in From Mahmoud to Dubya. It reads in part

I am saddened by the cold relatives between our nations, and would like to heat them up considerably. We need new solutions for getting out of international problems and current fragile situation of the world. I would very much like to arrive at a final solution.

These guys are great aren't they. What? They can't both be right? But they told me... Well surely one of them is. It's a slam dunk isn't it?

UPDATE: I'm learning of more and more variations on the letter. Thanks to Jewish Current Issues for the link to Lileks

. . . Our people glow with pride over our nuclear efforts, sometimes literally. I repeat that the enrichment is for peaceful purposes only, and we seek only peace, and peace is our goal, and there is nothing more we love than peace. Except death. Sorry; forgot. Death is definitely number one. In third place of things we love, well, there were those nice ice-cream desserts they had at this little place in Tehran. When I was Mayor I had them brought in on Fridays. Good times, good times. But once I found a hair.

From Jihad Watch

You think you can defeat us? ROFL! Like, if you even try this, the same mesmerizing light from Heaven that transfixed the UN diplomats when I spoke in New York will envelop the White House in a weird blue paralyzing glow. This will prevent you from peering into my soul and stealing its secrets ...

From Six Meat Buffet (via the Jawa Report )

The Old Media has noted the complexity and depth of the letter, implying that, perhaps, it�s a little over the President�s head. Luckily, our crack staff was able to get a copy of the letter itself, which demonstrates quite the opposite.

scroll down to see the graphic.

If there are any other spoofs let me know!

BTW, Jewish Current Issues sent me a link to Power Line criticizing the media for whitewashing the Ahmadinejad letter.

Technorati tags: Iran, Ahmadinejad, President Bush, letter.