Soccer Dad

I wouldn't want ...

I wouldn't want this guy to be a guard at work

Police say the man doubted whether he was being sold actual crack cocaine, so he approached the officers and asked them to test his pipe so he could be sure.

Turned out it was the real thing. Authorities say the man was arrested after the residue in his pipe tested positive for crack cocaine.

Oh right

He's listed in jail records as a security worker at MacDill Air Force Base.

I wouldn't want to get into the Guinness Book of World Records like this

On March 12, he was in his grandmother's trailer, near Fordland, when the twister bore down on them.
"It got louder and louder, like 10 military jets coming at us," Suter told the newspaper. "Suddenly there was lots of pressure inside the house. The front and back doors that were both locked came off their hinges and blew out.
"I looked at my grandma in the kitchen, and the walls were moving, the roof was moving, the floor was moving just like Jell-O," he said. "I could feel the whole trailer tipping over."
The twister, packing 150-mph winds, ripped open the mobile home and carried Suter into the night. It flung him over a barbed wire fence 200 yards away, eventually dropping him in soft grass in an open field.
He had a gash in his head from being hit by a lamp, but was otherwise intact.
"Everything was gone. I could see debris from the trailers and garage everywhere," Suter said. "It finally hit me that it must have been a tornado. I figured they were dead or hurt really bad, so I took off running for my best friend's house."
The National Weather Service arrived at the final distance - 1,307 feet - using global positioning satellite technology.

Technorati tags: tornadoes, stupid criminals.