Soccer Dad: Words of comfort

September 2, 2005

Words of comfort

There is an incident told regarding R. Yochanan Ben Zakkai, who was the head of Sanhedrin (Jewish High Court) at the time of the destruction of the second Temple. When one of his sons died, five of R. Yochanan's top students came to see him and offer words of comfort. The first student, R. Eliezer ben Harkanus stepped forward and said "Rebbe, may I offer you words of comfort?" When R. Yochanan agreed to hear him, R. Eliezer said "Adam had a son who died and yet he allowed himself to be comforted (the proof being that he had more children, as it says--Genesis 4--'And Adam knew his wife'). So too should you be comforted." When R. Yochanan heard this he said "It's not enough that I am mourning my own son, but you have to upset me more by reminding me of Adam's loss?" The next student of R. Yochanan's, R. Yehoshua ben Chanania stepped forward to comfort his Rebbe. He said "Rebbe, Iyov (Job) had many sons and daughters and all of them died the same day and still he allowed himself to be comforted, as it says (Job 1) 'Hashem gives and Hashem takes, may the name of Hashem be blessed'. So too you should be comforted." When R. Yochanan heard this he gave the same reply to R. Yehoshua that he had given to R. Eliezer. The third student, R. Yose HaKohain said "Rebbe, Aaron had two sons who died on the same day and yet he allowed himself to be comforted as it says (Leviticus 10:3) 'And Aaron was silent.' So too should you be comforted." Again the same reply was given to the student. The fourth student, R. Shimon Ben N'tanel said "Rebbe, Dovid HaMelech (King David) had a son who died and he allowed himself to be comforted. So too should you be comforted." Once again, R. Yochanan gave the same reply. Finally, R. Yochanan's fifth student, R. Elazar ben Aruch said "Rebbe, may I share with you a parable? A King once gave a man the job of safekeeping an extremely rare diamond, reknown for its purity of color, for an unspecified period of time. The man lost many nights sleep and could hardly eat because he was so worried that the diamond would be stolen and thus he would not be able to return it intact to the King. Finally one day, the King asked for it back and when the man saw that he would be able to give it back intact, he became extraordinarily happy. Similarly Rebbe, Hashem gave you a precious diamond--i.e. the soul of your son--to safekeep for an unspecified period of time. Your job all the while you had that soul, was to keep it intact--i.e. pure--by teaching your son to serve Hashem through Torah and Mitzvot. Now, that soul has been called back by Hashem and you returned it to Him without sin. Thus you should also be extremely happy." Upon hearing this R. Yochanan was comforted.

And now:

At Aaron's levaya, his Rebbe spoke about how over the course of the boys' senior year, most of the main Israeli yeshivot for chutznikkim sent reps around to their high school to interview prospective students. Several of them were vying for the top boys, including Aaron. In Rebbe's words...